Mature Themes by Ariel Pink’s Haunted Graffiti [REVIEW]

Either I am a philistine or I’m calling emperors new clothes on much of Mature Themes. Anyone who utters the line “Suicide dumplings dropping testicle bones” in a song that also contains an annoying refrain about sinking battleships before then coupling a G-spot with an H-bomb is, in my opinion, aiming at a pretty unsophisticated audience – and, frankly, I am not a 15 year old kid who sniggers “hehehe they said She’s a Nympo!”

But what really irk’s me most about this record is that these guys are clearly talented – and Ariel has an amazing voice. It’s just that the songs are, for the most part, shit. Album highlight, Only In My Dreams only serves, I think, to crystalize my point – it’s an absolutely brilliant song (matched only by their cover of Baby) – the others fall around it as total disappointments. Fans might argue that he’s conjuring some sort of sublime silliness and that I am being a humorless prat who just doesn’t “get it” – and perhaps that’s a fair rebuttal – but I just find the sexual innuendos cringeworthy – it’s like if Benny Hill made an indie record.

RATING : COULD BE BETTER

Cheese on Toast is phasing in a new album ratings system. I have always struggled with a numerical scale; it feels so finite and arbitrary. So the new scale looks like this :
FREAKIN’ AWESOME / JUST AWESOME / REALLY GREAT / GREAT / GOOD  / PRETTY COOL / NOT BAD / COULD BE BETTER / PRETTY BAD, ACTUALLY / NOT RECOMMENDED FOR EARS